I have recently been invited to a Personal Event. This PE is something that only has impact on one person’s life (Zelda’s, if it matters “who” to you), and truly has no place in it for me — or anyone else, for all of that. I have nothing to contribute and nothing to gain and wonder, actually, why I am being offered an opportunity to be involved. It should really be a private thing done privately.
My suspicion is that, by taking part in the PE, I will be entering into a tacit agreement that I am involved in that part of Zelda’s life, which is obviously not true…although I can see that she has wished it to be true for a very long time. Subtext is a difficult thing to cite as a reason for not participating, though, particularly when the subtextual reading might be mistaken.
I think I will Speak Truth at Zelda, telling her that I am uncomfortable with taking part. I imagine that she will take this badly, but that would fall into the “other people’s problems” category of things. I am allowed to be uncomfortable, she is allowed to be unhappy, and, hopefully, I am allowed to continue my life not severely impacted by her unhappiness.
Which would mostly depend on me. Well, high time I started that, in any case.