Exuteration

Ah, I am a neologizing genius.

Zelda had her uterus removed yesterday for fibroid tumors, which is good, not bad. This has been a decade in coming, and she is very pleased to have had it done. She came through famously, and, 36 hours after going under, is eating normal food with good appetite and walking around the hospital. She is likely to return home tomorrow.

I stayed at the family home Saturday and Sunday, feeling that I needed to be there, pretty much for all four of us. I remember what some of the issues were for me when my dad went under the knife, and I knew that Zelda would be scared and too, ah, well, I knew that she wouldn’t go look for a supportive shoulder to lean on, and that she would be worse for the lack. So I was there to protect the family from my daughter trying to become Dictator For Life, my son from feeling lost, confused, and afraid, and Zelda from feeling like she was facing death alone. And I protected me from feeling that I wasn’t there to support my children, and from feeling like I had not been supportive to someone I care about, albeit with many difficulties and, preferably, at arm’s distance.

So. Good. There has been no foolish backsliding into believing that there can ever be domestic tranquility between us, at least on my side, and that is very, very good. I have been very frightened that I would forget how awful things get and start the cycle of unrest and discontent again.

It feels very good to be living with the kids while Zelda is hospitalized. I miss living with the kids.

ah. Uhm. There appears to be a very deep well of emotion right there, and I think I’ll just carefully step around it for right now.