Five days of interpersonal game playing with Zelda, culminating in almost no writing getting done. Better, now, but it leaves me with a need for about 20k words written this weekend. Ugly.
In other news, Orycon happens in a week. One week and an hour from now, I will load son and Zelda into the car and drive to the airport, where we three will greet Nanook, whose name is anathema to Zelda. There will follow a joyous reunion in restrained format, then a 40 minute drive across Portland with the two of them in the car together. Why do I keep thinking of the phrase, “cage match?”
And I keep reminding myself that I am stronger and more assertive than I have ever been, and am readily able to look Zelda in the eye and say, “That (whatever that might be) is your problem, not mine,” and then disengaging. Now it’s just a matter of biting the metaphoric projectile and doing what I am readily able to do.
I imagine it will mean the difference between a moderately pleasant weekend and the beginning of another year of passive-aggressive codependancy. That seems to be a fairly evident choice to make. I wish I knew why PA and Co-D are so attractive that they become difficult to break as a habit, but I think, at this stage in my life, it is more important to DO something than to UNDERSTAND everything that led to the need to do something.
So. Wish me strength, kids.
1003 words written tonight at work.