Is this the little girl I carried? Wedding Part I

Oh, that’s just sappy. Get thee behind me, Tevye.

Wednesday Bridgette & I went to Corvallis for Cinderella & Charming’s wedding rehearsal. They’d decided on a lush, green park for the site, in between two enormous gnarled oaks (Willamette Park, for those who know Corvallis). Each had five attendents, plus a ring bearer. Yikes. The rehearsal was low-stress and without incident. Cinderella was very, very excited, so the event was fairly fun.

Rehearsal dinner was also low-stress; pizza. Dandy. I’m in favor of low-stress, low-formality in these things. Ritual and ceremony do not, I feel, have to be stuffy and artificial. I did what I could to make things run smoothly, offering the groom $10 and two six packs if he’d show up to the wedding with a pillow simulating a six-month pregnancy. He opted for a long, healthy life instead. So I offered Cinderella the same thing. No dice. The groomsmen, however, were eager for the chance at a six pack each, and agreed whole-heartedly. I clarified things; I was paying off only if all five groomsmen, plus the groom, had gravid bellies, and only if Cinderella was photographed with her skirts hiked up, running down the aisle to slay them all out of hand. They still agreed. My work there was done, so ‘Gette and I departed.

Later, Bridgette and Zelda went to ‘Rella’s bach. party (not together, just in proximity), I went to Charming’s with Othello. We had a lovely time. Bridgette had no confrontations with Zelda (good), and I left before the young lady who had been engaged to remove her clothing arrived. I am no opposed to watching attractive naked people, but I couldn’t see any good coming from having the father of the bride present to watch the groom play with a stripper.

Sleep was a very good thing.

2 thoughts on “Is this the little girl I carried? Wedding Part I”

    1. He stayed for the naked people part. I advised him of the importance of avoiding objectifying behaviors. I even noted that it makes it slightly more difficult to enjoy the show. I shared anecdotes from past encounters with exotic dancers.

      I did not leave him with a stack of ones to tip with.

      I can’t tell you why I thought it was all right to leave him present, but not all right to encourage, ah, traditional participation in the event. But I’m utterly certain of the correctness of it, whatever.

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