The Chop Shop Meme

I have decided, completely at whim, to sell my body. In pieces. Excepting the naughty bits, for which I have plans.

What part would you care to bid on, and what are your plans for it? Will you mount my pancreas in a dish of potpourri and set it on the dining table? My left hand on the bathroom door to hold your robe? Be creative, the price may come down.

Edit: And, y’know, the usual, post it, auction off your own parts, blah, blah.

57 thoughts on “The Chop Shop Meme”

          1. No, no, sorry…I’m accepting offers, not offering prices. This ain’t no bargain-basement body, here, this is prime real estate on the hoof.

          2. Mmmmmaybe. I have to discuss it with the spousal unit; she is fond of the skin over my stomach, and I’d need special dispensation to scar it.

            But a shiny nickle….

          3. 1 Russian rubles = 0.0359906 U.S. dollars

            Hard to depreciate much more. I mean to say, less than $15 is sort of insulting.

  1. Give me your liver. I wish to sell it on the black market along with a couple of babies I have lying around. Together they shall fetch a mighty fine sum!

    And, I want your tongue and your big toe on your right foot. What I shall use those for, well, that is Top Secret. 😉

          1. It is in excellent condition, though it does have a few leaks. Functions at top speed after consuming mass quantities of sugar (Ritalin sold separately).

            Though the little bugger is missing one of it’s big toes. 😉

          1. I don’t like children either, that is why I am trying to sell them. They aren’t my own. I, uh…uhm…. they… followed me home one day. Yea! That’s it!

            They do make wonderful hand-maids and carrier pigeons. Wish to reconsider? 😀

    1. No gifts. I specified that this would be a transaction.

      As for the tongue & toe…you’re trying to create some sort of hoof-n-mouth disease joke, aren’t you?

      1. I will gladly pay you for your liver. I will just raise the price a bit for the black market. SUCKAS!! ALL OF THEM!! Mmmwahahahahaha!

        *regains composure*

        The T&T…..As I said….TOP SECRET 😀

          1. Actually, I may need to make a counter offer for that tongue–the value of silver is definitely bullish.
            My offer is ‘three hours of uninterrupted time spent outside the space-time continuum for writing and nothing else’.

          2. WAIT!! I see that offer and counter…

            FIFTEEN hours and I’ll throw in five dust bunnies, four egg laying hens, and TWELVE CLEAN prostitutes!

            If you don’t use the prostitutes, then they can….clean your house, do your laundry….and other household chores!


          3. I like the sounds of the 15…but there’s a long-standing relationship with Coyote, and we can rely on him to accept this as a rental arrangement. The spousal unit informs me that she has issues with my tongue going away.

  2. I want the BRAINS.
    I’m going to put them in a special jar and set it on the shelf. Then when I need help with a problem, I can tip the jar around and, like a magic 8 ball, find my solution in the specially designed window.

    I offer 8 words of wisdom, but I require delivery before payment.

    1. That’s pretty cheap, considering that they’ve never been used. But for you, a special price could be arranged.

      As with Coyote, how would you feel about a rental arrangement? I sort of use my brains as ballast to keep my head from floating off, but I’ll cheerfully stand behind a specially designed window and give you answers.

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