Violation

Offered without explanation, until such time as I have time to write things up properly:

I have decided that, however welcome the experience, if another behaves in an intimate manner with one without having asked or been asked, that there is, to some degree, a violation that at the far end is rape. I don’t know what the near end of that spectrum is called.

Enjoying aspects of a rape does not make it less a rape.

And, no, I was not raped. Calm down, ferchrissakes. Not EVERYTHING in my life is fraught with drama.

8 thoughts on “Violation”

  1. The near end is probably called sexual harassment. However, if it is at all welcome, that does become more difficult to define.

    I’m violated when people talk to me when I don’t want them to. 🙂

    1. If the boundaries are the implied boundaries of Western culture, where one doesn’t become intimate without invitation, I’d agree.

      …except that women are permitted such freedoms with men’s boundaries, which leaves me uncertain again. That is, it’s acceptable, socially, for a woman to squeeze a man’s shoulders, but a man doing so is taking liberties.

      Hrm.

      It was still a violation.

      1. That is, it’s acceptable, socially, for a woman to squeeze a man’s shoulders, but a man doing so is taking liberties.

        The why of that, of course, is embedded in the statistical certainty (NB ‘statistical’, therefore quite possibly untrue in any specific situation) that he is more of a threat to her than vice versa.

        But we weren’t talking cause. Taking your example, a simple “Please, don’t do that” from the man being touched instantly makes the touching explicitly unacceptable. If it continues, then it would be clear violation of boundaries.

  2. I would also go with “violation of boundaries”, as intimacy can take many forms.

    And just because aspects are enjoyable still does not make non-consensual violation acceptable.

    1. I still don’t entirely know what I feel about this, except that I’m not permitting the opportunity again. Good enough, I guess. 🙂

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