In Through The Cat Door

Nicodemous has been cold and alone, has starved, has fought with cats four times his size and faced down Labrador retrievers. There is, however, a threat so enormous that Kittens That Are Jagulars cannot face calmly.

The cat door.

During the summer, the doors to the house remain open. We aren’t air conditioned, and Medford gets a bit warm in the summer. Cats can stroll aimlessly in and out through three different passages, and the world is theirs. As the nights cool, though, the doors shut, and Nicky has to come and go as other cats do.

Through the swinging portal of doom.

I didn’t realize some fairly important things about the cat door, but Nicky has explained them to me through body language, meaningful eye contact, and semaphor. To wit:

  1. The cat door is going to eat him
  2. It is scary and dark, inset into the wall as it is
  3. The cat door is going to eat him
  4. It makes scary noises
  5. It is going to eat him
  6. It moves suddenly, and in a predatory fashion
  7. You know this thing will eat cats, right?

I may have contributed to his issues by trying to show him how the door works. With the other cats in the house, all one had to do was pick ‘em up, head ‘em into the cat door, give them a moment to look things over, and then pat ‘em on the tail so they bumped the door open. Enlightenment and egress followed.

Nicky, I picked up, placed headfirst into the [dark forbidding evil cat-eating] cat door, gave him a moment, and, as he was deciding that the proper course of action was to back away from this horrible threat, patted him on the butt.

His view: Daddy stuffed my head in a hole where a jagular-eating monster lives, and just as it opened it’s horrible maw to eat me, Daddy shoved, trying to kill me.

He’s slowly getting over it, with some help. If a human will hold the cat door open, he will come down, peek through it – from a respectable distance – roll around a bit, rub against the human, lick himself, and then gear up for the passage. Purpose fills his eyes. You can see that he is about to endure a Rite Of Passage. His tail starts to flick, his shoulders bunch as his head lowers. No movement of the cat door escapes his notice. His hind legs shuffle to gain the best purchase as he judges his moment, considers his chances. There is no fear, no hesitation, nothing that will distract him from this, the ultimate moment in the ultimate contest, cat versus cat door, no quarter asked or given –

–until he explodes forward, the world rocking back as he streaks through the door, victorious again. Fifty feet and quarter of a second later, he stops and washes his face, all arrogance and power.

If you’re a cat door, you don’t want to mess with Jagulars.

This entry brought to you by the helpful clever people of AlphaSmart. AlphaSmart Neo – It’s a Smart Thing.

Crossposted from Epinephrine & Sophistry