Here are my preliminary and incomplete thoughts on the IT position.

–Robert

Title: IT Administrator

What an IT Administrator does:

End-User Technical Support – 1st level support for technology & software problems.
Computer Resource Management – keep and manage inventory; right equipment and software to right person
Network Management - Within limits, working under Multinet’s direction, per CFO; monthly maintenance, etc.
Voice and Data Communications – Research, implement, and support new phone system & mobile system
Future Technology Planning – maintain 12 and 24 month plan for equipment & software needs
Train – one on one and group classes; instruction as needed; train use of software, phone, and computer systems
Software Development – Crystal report design; estimating templates & assemblies; Java applications for handhelds
Database Management – Maintain estimating db for consistency & production rates; archive management
Opportunity Research – identify, present, and implement IT opportunities and new technologies to maximize productivity & save costs
Media Management – reception slideshow, webcams, reader boards, etc.
Website Design & Management
Data Protection – backups, maintain security, recognize and repair security breaches

Additional duties I believe an IT Administrator will do at Batzer Inc.:

On-call user support after hours
Equipment purchase & setup for off site needs

Equipment needs:

Additional standard monitor, keyboard, & mouse
Locking file cabinet for software & license information
Small tool kit; screwdrivers, small pliers, utility light, punch down tool, etc.
Software packages as required for implementing duties – none as yet
Laptop with wireless card (only if expected to provide support off site)
Cell phone (only if expected to provide support after hours)

Training wish list:

Microsoft classes (MS Office Specialist, MS Certified Systems Administration, MS Certified Trainer, etc.)
Crystal Reports Design (advanced)

What I would like:

Competitive wages for my new position in addition to any merit raise for the last year
Job title of IT Administrator
An office I have occasion to access personal & confidential information in the course of my duties; I perform design work that is best in a quiet environment rather than a thoroughfare; ongoing projects will not always be able to be removed from my area to be secured while I am out; incoming trouble calls will frequently present an unprofessional tone on speaker phone

Any input is welcome; I have not yet sent the email.
EDIT: The email is sent. And the reason it reads all choppy is that it’s a bullet list using boldface for leaders, which I was too lazy to format.

–and gravity slams me to the ground.

I’ve spent the past couple weeks acting autonomously, anticipating accurately, preparing appropriately, and being vindicated by the outcome. I have been insightful, proactive, and effective. The office has undergone equipment replacement and software upgrades before, with outsourced support; all have been disasters. Under my hand, this one went much smoother, much faster, with NO LOSS OF PRODUCTIVITY. None. Zero. This is unprecedented at this company, a company full of technophobes.

I have documented the thousands of dollars I have saved this company this year, in time saved, in procedures streamlined (translated into time, which translates to money). I have saved the company close to half my wages for the year. More, if I could figure out how to document the everyday stuff that I do.

The CFO called me in today, just before end of shift.

He feels that, when I move to the IT position, I should be working in the new offices. Fine, I’m good with that. I have seen my name sketched on three different offices on the plans, any of which would be dandy.

The CFO plans to put me down in the common bay offices. The one he has in mind is the common bay that is a widened hallway between the production support offices, accounting, and the bathrooms, next to the copy machine. My back would be to the hall all day, as the world passes through my workspace constantly. “You don’t need an office, do you? You can do your job anywhere, right?”

“I’ve had an office…I’d like to continue having an office.”

“Well, I’d like lots of things, too, but I come here to do a job. Why don’t I move into a smaller office, and you can have mine?” If you didn’t care about the answer, why did you ask? Rhetorical questions shouldn’t sound like actual ones. I told him his idea sounded good to me. He laughed.

I’ve had my own office for two years. Now I won’t even have a cubicle.

His suggestion for my new job title is “IT Clerk”. He told me to write up what I thought my job duties would be. “That isn’t,” he assured me, “what they will be, whatever you’ve been told. I just want to see what you think they should be.”

This sounds like a scene from an office=hell movie. Or a week of Dilbert.

This week:

• Half of the company relocated into the never-been-used wing, freshly remodeled
• 2/3 of the company came to work Monday to brand-new computers I set up over the weekend
• 2/3 of the company discovered they now had MS Office 2007 and panicked
• Daylight savings time took place
• Quickbooks updated until it couldn’t talk to the check writing software anymore
• MS Exchange Server filled up our server’s harddrive with log files. Without room, the server crashed
• All the normal “My computer scares me because I didn’t pay attention” issues
• The sky fell

I spent time over the weekend setting up and playtesting computers. I stole everyone’s documents, recent documents, Outlook settings, desktop shortcuts, and applied them to the new computers, so they wouldn’t be entirely in alien environments. I clawed a gig of space on the HD, and Monday morning had discovered the solution to removing the log files; it required downtime, so I manufactured a way to log into the server after hours, and cleaned it up overnight. I found, downloaded, set up, playtested, and instructed the use of new check writing software. I wrote three procedures for future crises. I discovered two catastrophes waiting to happen, defanged them, and wrote another procedure.

The stampede of crisis is still thundering on, and I am standing on the back of the lead mare, pulling on her mane to steer her and baring my teeth into the wind. I have never been so on top of my game without having a clue about what I am doing — beyond an understanding of the computer users, allowing me to anticipate the panicks, and an understanding of the computer consultants, allowing me to anticipate the lazy thinking.

*thunders off*

EDIT: I have been asked twice about my “I seem to be able to do the job” comment. I’ve had what Kirby calls “Impostor Syndrome”; I know real IT people, and they can perform amazing feats and know astonishing things and can probably reprogram by telepathy. I ain’t one of those. All I brought to this job was a hatful of confidence, office experience with computers, and what Aberdeen would enjoy me calling “a knowledge of the psychology of the individual”.

I guess that I’m just astonished that those are all it takes to be successful at this job, at this level.

Michael has a job, pending a detailed investigation into his urine. He will be collecting carts and facing shelves at the local Food For Less, and will have sufficient income to pursue his interests and goals — like an apartment with his girlfriend.

I go now, to sing and dance and proclaim good fortune to all creatures.