Bridgette got home early last night, and I was over by 10:00 to spend a bit of time with her. I was very, very tired, but I find I’ve been missing my redhead. Turns out that was the reason she was home early; to have time spent with her. She’s been missing me, too.
*”I missed you. And that doesn’t even scare me. I don’t know which is more dangerous.”
*”You keep saying, ‘this could get really messy.’ It could, but it’s you and it’s me; we won’t let it get too messy. We’re good about this, and about each other.”
*”I haven’t let anyone this close to me for a very long time. ‘You must use this power only for good.’ Promise not to hurt me.” “No. I’m going to hurt you. I’ll hurt you bunches of times. But I promise it will always be a mistake, and that I’ll always be here to help rebuild the hurt, and that I will always mean well.”
*”I love you. Not in a mushy sappy way. Not (babble).” “Shut up. What I hear you say is ‘I care deeply about you, and your happiness is important to me, and your best intersts are a priority for me, and I want you around me and am happy when you are.’” “…yes, that kind of love.” “I love you too.”
*”[when I am assertive, straightforward, and direct] I scare other men off. You not only are okay with that, you like it. You understand me, and why I do things, and you even think it’s neat.”
*”I’m proud of you. You found that you were standing between where you were and something you wanted, so you fixed yourself. That makes you, and me, and … do you know anyone else?”
*”I might still be prone to getting panicky.” “Lots of room, babe. Get as panicky as you need, do whatever you need to keep the pressure down. We’ll cope.”
I did a lot of shutting up and waiting this past few weeks. I was smart. I was wise. I was smart and wise, all on my own. No agonizing. No false starts. I could see who I was dealing with, and what the real issues were, and dealt with them in a realistic fashion that I could handle and feel good about. I saw that there was affection and trust and knowledge and strength, and I just waited and kept presenting those things to be seen by Bridgette. And she saw them, and turned and dealt with her own issues to be able to take part fully in the relationship.
My god, I’m a mature adult in a mature relationship with a mature adult who is dealing with her half of the relationship.
This shows every sign of working out well.
Crossposted from Epinepherine & Sophistry